Filed under: Personal Development — admin @ 12:17 pm

About me (Cynthia) Life’s summation so far….
Filed under: Personal Development — admin @ 12:17 pm Edit This

The path to enlightenment is through excess- that sums it up in a nutshell.

My driving force was either become self/God realized in this lifetime or die. Do or die. I went through a lot, but I feel i'm really on track and it is unfolding faster and faster. I had a goal to do this faster than anyone ever has in history of humanity and read it daily for years, only under the grace for the good of the whole...

Happily married for 30 yrs, chosen to not raise children, except ourselves and pets.

Brought up Catholic in high Morman area (Utah, Wyoming- USA) (very challenging), read Bhagavad Gita as a young teenager, was initiated in TM by art teacher who was well acquainted with Maharishi Mahesh Yogi and found out years later was given highest mantra allowed, He always cried when he spoke of him. Got into Eckankar (ancient science of soul travel), read in Eck dictionary and found my TM mantra, told my TM teacher and told him it meant compassion of the universe.Compassion is the highest evolvement according to TM. Had over 100 + different jobs and several bizs, including midwifery (helped deliver 57 babies), Massage therp. for 2 years, video biz of weddings, Super Blue Green Algae network mkting, successful Romance party biz (Slumber Parties by Cynthia) for 16 yrs; real estate investing. Hubby and I spent several occasions with Mark Victor Hansen and Jack Canfield of Chicken Soup for the Soul came out, and a week in Hawaii w/ him at his super personal growth seminar. Been to countless self improvement and boot camps seminars, like a seminar junky. Published author, song writer,  sort of published poet, vegetarian for 28 yrs, fasted for prolonged periods of time, sometimes with hubby Steve, 64 days once Steve and I did on Juice and SBGA and SBGA and water alone last 3 weeks,  traveled over 1/3 world and 42 states. Spent much time on my grandparent’s ranch, riding horses, country living and playing in other grandparent’s dance hall, cafe, gas station, bar, motel 3 miles away on the Idaho Wyo border 70 miles south of Jacksonhole Wyo, in my youth. Hitchhiked a lot, including across 2 states. Dove 56 times, swam with sharks, climbed live exploding Volcano in Guatemala, lived there for 3 monthes, studied and speak fluent Spanish, Studied German and French also, and used it in France. Well versed in alternative health, worked in health food restaurant, store, vita store and have much healing experience. Have an associates degree in Ornamental Horticulture where I met my husband at 18 yrs old. Love to down hill and xcountry ski, camp, go to mountains, ocean with dolphins, lake etc, very nature oriented. Slept in snow cave with Steve we built, and camped in mountains alone for days and fasted on a ‘Deepok Chopra retreat’. Very much an animal lover. Love to sing, sang in 2 talent shows, a wedding, lots of karoke, have cover demo tape of lots of songs. Want to pursue singing by posting on internet. Studied piano and flute. Paint oil paintings, and other types of art like sand paintings, acrylics, etc. Read 55 bks in 9 monthes at age 13. Been sexually abused as an infant by several ppl Recovering from Post traumatic stress disorder subsequently. Been sex. abused in hospitals several times. Have had a history of promiscuity at a young age. I performed oral sex with 8 guys in 7 days at age 15. Was looking for love and approval in all the wrong places. My old boss told my new boss so he tried to get me to have sex with him too, at age 16. Was physically and verbally abused by teenage parents as I grew up. At age 14-15? My dad threw me down the stairs, and punched and kicked me while I huddled on floor in fetal position. He is 6'2" and weighed at least 300 lbs at the time. When we were little 8 and bro 5, they used to lock us in bedroom so they could sleep late in mornings after 'partying' all night and I had to urinate on my robe. They locked us out in cold outside weekend mornings late with no food. We would get so hungry sometimes I ate uncooked spaghetti noodles one time. As children we were incidental to their life, me especially an inconvenience acted toward and  told I was hated, wished never born, would never find a man who would want or love me, that I would never be as beautiful as my mom (mom said that, dad said never find a man that would want me, etc.. was told I was worthless for years, and thought I was hideeous ugly until I saw a school pic. of myself at 13, ad finitumI had suicidal thoughts all my life, planned it many times, but never actually attempted or went through with it. Was chased and beat up by a gang of girls at 13, and had girls hating me and pretty much all life. Worked most of that out now. :)  At age 48 in 2008, being happily married 30 yrs. am past most of all that.  All this was the fire that made the sword strong true and sharp. Or made the horseshoe functional. I realize I created all these things for myself in my life to get my soul to remember my purpose here in this life and have understanding and compassion for any and all who suffer. 

JC 'died' on the xss; I was harmed beyond the norm. but as long as I turned to spirit and learned than I was blessed.

Tried drugs, pot ( bad addict to pot in youth), acid, mushrooms, peyote, downers, speed and cocaine. Laid all that down long ago. Was kicked out and disowned at age 16 because I got a butterfly tatoo over my heart that is covered by a bra. Ended up in psych ward with a psychotic break. Found out later meditation TM which is very passive for the Western mind can cause nuerosis, but almost certainly will when combined with staying stoned for weeks from morning til night. It opened my mind though, which I needed. I saw the other side. I just had to learn how to maintain the bliss and remain in control. French and Spanish Basque mostly, then, Danish, Swiss, English (Faulkners, said some English royalty or something on geneology on Morman side-I said we probably abdicated or got kicked out?) and Cherokee. My husband is Cherokee, Scottish, Irish and some German descent. I’m a published author on The “History” of the Basque ppl, (no one really knows it, but I wrote what I found out) and traveled the Basque country, amongst other places. I’m from the northwest; he the south, we both have lived all over the country. We both come from alchoholic family/disfunctional families. We are both recovering alchohics also. (Not as bad as some but enough to say, must say no.)

When I was 17 and moved out and parents and bro moved to dif. state, I moved 6 times in 6 monthes. Lived comfortable alone for several monthes and worked 3- 2 nursery jobs and rode my bike over 30 miles a day, plus drove up canyon to 3rd waitress job. With Scholorship, I put myself through school working full time as a waitress and going to school full time. Got a used car when I moved out and 2 monthes worth of insurance on it and that's it from them. I rode my bike in winter on icy roads and sidewalks at college, approximent 20 miles a day. Met and moved in with hubby Steve and his bro just before turning 19 and have lived with him for 30 yrs now, so far. I have been in many car accidents, very interesting circumstances in each one, and my brother and I almost died as my parents partied next door in a house fire as a young kid. My dad had laid my dress on a lit cigarette and forgotten about it. The door was stuck and we were trapped.  We could barely talk for 2 weeks because of smoke inhalation.  I have evaded police at least 6 or more times when they tried to give me a ticket. I've gotten my share too, for speeding.  (Mostly to my parties, haa)  I have gotten over that too.  Have had many brushes with death.  

Spiritually, I have Bi-polar which has been quite the ride. I don’t use medication; control it naturally. So was Winston Churchhill, Drew Barrymore and Peter Gabriel to name a few.

I am also a black sheep very much, but I keep trying. Never give up on someone, if at all possible or one will have to work out the same things with someone else.

Hubby works for subcontrator to emergency management of Gov. I’m also a gourmet cook but not a domestic goddess.

My mother inlaw said try to learn as much as you can, it’ll come in handy later. That’s what I’ve attempted to do. I wanted to have no regrets when I was in my golden years. If I believed in Catholism dogma, I’d already have a one way ticket to hell many times over probably, confession aside. A Cardinal told me I was wrong in confession when I said we have to learn to forgive ourself too. That was the last confession I did, as a teenager. A priest told my mom she shouldn’t use birth control in confession and that was the last confession she went to. I do believe in many of their things though, especially the metaphysical things, such as Jesus and the Saints.

I believe in the Aborigine belief that the human voice is for singing and laughing. Telepathy is a natural state, but if ppl have mutated from the true human state of being, they often have deception and try to hide their thoughts and think they can’t use telepathy.

Spiritually, I believe in seeing everything as soul, loving EVERYTHING, for it all comes from the same source, running from bad to good just creates a viscious cycle. I believe we are all one being: come from the source while simaltaneously are the source. I believe we only manefest into separate illusions for a kaliedescope effect of splendor according to need or desire. I believe we are the source of all and co-communicate to all the cells of our great and simaltaneously microscopic body to advance as we evolve. I believe we can never ‘go’ anywhere except within our imagination. Travel is another illusion. I believe we are the creator of creation with  the source in tandem. I believe there is no they nor no them. There is only us, and us is one. The word Jesus breaks down into Jeese, it’s just US. Christ means cross which means an x which marks the present moment as being the only spot. Jeese it’s just us in sparkling of the present moment. I believe Jesus is a living manefestion embodiment of our highest self and there is only one self. There is only one thing greater than us, and our mutual power; that is love which governs and regulates everything and the great nothing within which we may rest as we choose. Besides being one, I believe there is an us, which is only two, combining as one, only you and only me. I believe when you and I communcatie to different parts of ourself we might think we are talking to different beings, but we are only communicating with different parts of ourself. Like when you have a dream that seems so real, you think it is real until you wake up and you realize you were dreaming. Everything is only as real as that except the energy that sustains us. I believe we basically live in a static void hall of mirrors so to speak and we create illusions to amuse ourselves, strictly with love only. I also believe we rest until desired again to revive. I believe there is no death and life is like a dream and we simply shift from “reality” to reality as we believe we should. I believe we are not the Supreme Being but that we are in conjunction with it mutually. We are one, than we spiit into two consciousnesses when desired. I believe there are no other realities beyond that, just beliefs that there are and subsequent manefestions of illusion. I believe we can do absolutely anything we absolutely believe we can do, and only then. I believe we project what we want like a movie and have sometimes believed it is real, until we see through it all. The only real part is the present moment that never passes, some just believe it does. The reason why there are more coincidences, faster and faster is because we are awakening to these things stated above. All these things come from us, the one being or two if desired to communicate. We are realizing our place in the universe is we are the universe and the co-creator of it.When we are one with it, we are most happy, and if we split from it, we are less, and split past 2 and we are even less happy, as we may not be in harmony w/ each successive split. If we do happen to have harmony w/ lots of splits, such as a rock singer feels in front of his audience, or a charismatic leader, we can truly feel the massive power of love that still scratches the surface of the infinite possibilities. Even though in those instances, we may experience a taste of that, such as if we perform kinesiology (move matter with our mind) for example, we see we have mind over matter.

These sorts of things are easily laden with illusions and can be a  sticky wicket. We best remain within the good of the whole at all times. We remain within our current circumstances and master the harmony we feel within ourself and surroundings. The better we get at it, the more we can be a channel for peace and love anywhere we are at.

 I know every second I exist, I am attuned to spirit and look and listen for the guidance and love. It helps me with compassion for others. I have been healthy enough to run and ride a bike in marathons and so unhealthy I’ve had to crawl because I couldn’t walk nor hardly catch my breath. I was born w/ a birth defect where food went into my lungs for the first year of my life; they couldn’t figure out what was wrong and would have died without surgery. My mom looked like Natalie Woods in her youth, and my Dad Rock Hudsen. Now, he is currently hugely overweight and she’s had breast cancer etc.. They are doctor/dentist/ surgery and prescription drug junkies and functioning alchohics, and been smokers for years (quitting maybe) hope. I have worked with them repeatedly with much challenge to improve health. I’ve wanted to see all the ways you can treat your body and heal your body personally. I believe all stories and histories are mythes and illusions, like plays, and the only real thing is I AM.

I know every second I exist, I am attuned to spirit and look and listen for the guidance and love. Love is the only thing that works. Love of self, moment, task, and surroundings. My husband and pets, especially cat Buddha helps a lot with that. Looking for the next lesson in each successive moment.  Letting spirit be my guide and seeing everything as spirit. Spirit only wants me to succeed and is friendly at all times.

I believe the entire universe is currently in the process of shifting to a co-currently existing more advanced realitythrough inner and outer communication on an unprecedented scale, through telepathy, and advanced communcations networks such as internet, etc.. . I believe time doesn’t exist, only on lower planes and that everything that ever has happened or ever will happen is already currently in existance. Depending on our current belief system we shift second by second to whatever co-currently existant reality is happening. That’s why the present moment is the serendipitious miracle twinkle moment. Within that moment, we can be the I AM. The moment of the now is actually all that is real. Sorry that this isn’t shorter, but… oh well, whatever…: )

Thanks for your wonderful site, and inspiring me. Feel free to skim my site www.funbycynthia.com/blog and a company I don’t really do now, but can and the site is still kind of nice: www.funbycynthia.com also, the parties I do are www.slumberparties.com . I’m in the process of getting a new site for myself back up on it personally.

With the magical holiday season upon us, I am excited. I believe the world is realizing no one wins unless we all do. We’re shifting honey, and it’s way awsome, cool!

Thank you for reading this and all you do, we need lots of ppl like you in this world!

Much love and sincerity,

Cynthia

PS: If you havn’t seen the movie Jesus’ Son, you might want to, You can learn more about it on IMBD. I thought it was pretty neat. Different. Also, I love Lawnmower Man. I can really relate to that one.

~Is is food for love? Let it play~