I am actually getting scared about dealing with eating over christmas. I must be getting obsessed, I do not want to gain a whole load of weight, I really dont. I just need to be able to stop the dreaded demons when they appear. I need a strategy and I need it fast.

On the up side, I finished work today for the christmas holidays, so I am planning a run in the morning, a really lovely walk with the dog, and who knows what else, I would really like to sort out some junk, I have a room which really needs doing!

I am off to yoga in a short while, which I am quite looking forward to, I wasnt this morning, but I am now!

I have applied for another job, as a receptionist at a High School, It just seemed right up my street. Applications have to be in for tomorrow, with interviews taking place on thursday, and while it seemed so fast, I took the bull by the horns and am having a go. I may not hear anything, but at least I have tried. I really feel it is time for a change, and it just seemed to be beckoning me, so I will wait and see what happens.

I have just finished my dinner, which I really enjoyed, I had salmon, crushed roasted baby potatoes, and roasted veg, followed by stewed apple. I managed a run this morning and 2 x 30 minute doggie walks! So I am feeling pleased with myself, although I have the awkward part of the evening to get through, as it is between now and 9pm that I can fall into the snacking mode.

Work was very quiet today, we had 9 children in, (considering there should be up to 20) and 4 staff.....where were the rest, God only knows, maybe they all went christmas shopping with their families, or illness has taken over, either way..........it was a very quiet morning. Well, I say quiet, but most of the kiddies, seem extra jumpy, no way to keep them still, could this be the morning activity of opening their advent calendars I wonder ? ?

Poor Roxy, my kitten, is feeling very sorry for herself, she was at the vets yesterday to be spayed, and I believe she is feeling a bit sore still. She is not her usual terrorising self, and oh, how I miss it! Never thought i would say that! I want the old Roxy back, pouncing on my feet and launching herself at me.

The eating plan is going well, I havent strayed yet, and it is WI tomoro, so I am hoping for a result at least, any sort of a good result will be welcome. I cant believe I was 2lb away from goal, and blew it. How stupid can I be? I am feeling quite fit at the moment, no back ache, no muscle strain...... just tickety boo.......wonder how long that will last?? I know, I shouldnt be pessimistic but it seems one thing after another at the moment.

Well, I shall go and anticipate weigh in tomorrow..........wish me luck!

Maxine passed her driving theory test, with top marks, so that was brilliant. And Mike, well, he did get to fight, but not a proper match, as their weights differed too much, Mike managed to lose 0.3 kilo, of the 0.4 he had to lose, but with the extra, and the other boy being way under his weight, they were not compatable, so they ended up doing an exhibition round instead, just showing off the various skills involved.

I have got back into my running, after recovering from my back pain, and then I pulled a muscle in my chest, just by loading some shopping in the car, but I think I am virtually repaired on all levels now, about time, I was beginning to think that i was falling apart, whoever said life begins at 40???

I just hope that weigh in on wednesday reflects the work that I am putting in this week, so far I have not used any of my 21 points, but I think I may have a treat tonight!

My poor Roxy is off to the veets tomorrow, to be spayed, so no food or drink from 9pm tonight, the poor thing will be wailing tomorrow, thinking that I have forgotten to feed her, and I must remember to move the dogs water bowl, when she is around. I gave her an extra big tea tonight, to make up for it!

Things have not really been too good, which is probably why I haven’t been around. I had a bad back for over a week, which meant no exercise, as I could hardly walk, which also means with me everything goes hand in hand, no exercise leads to no food control, which leads to no water drinking, which equals total loss of control. Where I was 2.2lb from my goal, I hate to think what I am now, self sabotage springs to mind. It is WI tomorrow, so I will find out the damage. Last week I put on 6 lbs in one week, WOW is that really achievable???? I haven’t stuck to plan this week either, probably 3 days out of the 7, so I will confess to all tomorrow when I weigh myself. That aside I have been 2 days now fully to plan, so that is good, I went running this morning and felt quite fit, which is a novelty after over a week of being almost crippled! I do still get the odd twinge, especially when slumped over my pc, so I will not stay for long.

Mike, my son, has a boxing match on Wednesday night, he has to lose 0.4kg by then though, so I have put him on a strict eating plan, practice what you preach springs into my head!! So, good luck Mike!

Maxine, my daughter, has her driving theory test to sit tomorrow, and she is really stressing over it, I just hope that she passes, it will be a big boost for her at this time. So good Luck Max!

Well I shall leave it there for today, I will post tomorrow with the damage I have done over the last couple of weeks, I have given myself a good talking to, and I am back on track!

I had a slight lie in this morning, and didn’t go running, had a rest day from it, but I took Mist for a 30 minute walk, I have a yoga class later and I hopefully will be able to fit an exercise dvd into the day this  afternoon, with another walk for the dog too!

My menu today is going to be:

B ~Porage wit stewed apple, a favourite that is back on the menu with a vengeance

L ~ H/M soup

D ~ Steak, Jacket potato with heaps of veg

I went for a run this morning, which was pretty tough today, I really had to push myself, and had to imagine Harvey Walden shouting at me, to get my butt moving! Why are some runs so torturous? I suppose it didnt help much that temperatures had fell to below minus, and there was ice on the ground, not to mention the fallen leaves, all adding to the slippery ground. I also did my 2^nd yoga class tonight, and I am feeling great, it is so relaxing, and the stretches, although tough, feel really good.

My menu today has been:

B ~ porage and stewed apple

L ~ homemade soup

D ~ Lamb, roasted veg and a jacket potato. Rice pudding.

I had a bit of a problem on my run this morning, first of all I had trouble with my earpiece, which I believe is broken, it kept falling out of my ear, and I cannot run or keep rhythm without my music on. So that was causing me some grief, but worse than that…… I had a problem with ……..Looks around to make sure no one is listening…………my knickers! I think the elastic must have gone, either that or I rally must get rid of them, because I wore them when I was almost 5 stone heavier, I guess something had to give lol! They  kept falling down, and I had to keep hitching them up, by delving down the back of my running trousers, grabbing them and pulling them back up, as well as check there was no cars coming that might view the spectacle, although I often got caught out on that one! They must have thought I was some kind of a freak or pervert or something along those lines, needless to say that certain piece of underwear went straight in the bin when I got the chance!

Memo to self........buy new underwear!

Not a bad weekend for me really weight watchers wise. I have survived a few temptations, which I am really pleased about, and really staggered by my iron will this time. One temptation, was the leftover Pizza from M and Ms tea, why they didn’t eat it I don’t know, but there was 4 slices left, all warm and cheesy.   I thought no more of it, and promptly fell asleep on the sofa. I woke to the doorbell ringing and it was my brother in law, I was feeling rather sleepy, and went to make a cup of drink. Bad mistake as the pizza was on a plate near the kettle. My first thought was, ‘I’m going to eat that’, but then my brother came through to see my new kitchen, and I was stopped in my tracks, thinking about it in the following few minutes, it was the tiredness that nearly blew it for me that time, I didn’t really need the pizza, and if it had gone into my mouth, it would have snowballed a night of eating what I wanted.

The next temptation was on Friday. We had been invited to Maxine’s boyfriends leaving party, as he is off to the Falklands on Sunday. We haven’t met the parents yet, so we thought that we couldn’t really refuse, anyway there was food in abundance, the dreaded pizza again, cheese melts, chocolates, choccy cake, the lot. Once again I refused, as I knew what would happen, just one taste and the rest of the week would be lost, has my way of thinking changed??? What has happened to me, I think I may have been abducted by aliens  or something equally as strange!   The next temptation was Sunday, it was Mikes birthday on Friday, so at my mums, we had a little get together with cake and nibbles, as you do, but again, I knew  that by tasting those crisps etc, would lead to destruction, so I passed on the nibbles, which were not needed as we had had Sunday lunch, and got on with serving everyone else’s cake, and washing up! I have discovered that some of these things are my trigger foods, and if I do not have the first morsel pass my lips, I can compose myself, how about that.

I am on holidays this week from work, as it is half term, so a bit more time for myself, I have to do  2 mornings at my brothers, but apart from that, the world is my oyster, as they say!

I got up this morning and went for a run, I stuck to my early time, which was better as the clocks have gone back, and it was starting to get light, I promised myself, once I had been, and walked the dog, I could go back to bed with a coffee and my book, as it was still before 7am when I made it back under my quilt it wasn’t bad going! It made sticking t the early run well worth it, and seemed very decadent.

I have just had my breakfast of porridge and stewed apple, which I savoured every mouthful, I just have the rest of the days menu to plan, will probably be soup for lunch, and dinner will be……..hmmm I have no idea.

Anyway, yoga last night….. Debs and I got to the car park, and there was loads of cars, it really put me off a bit, but we were brave and we headed in. At least the place wasn’t full of lycra clad teenagers with no meat on their bones, I would say Debs and I were in the younger age bracket at 40, and they went up to older years.  Some had been going for 20 years, so supple wasn’t the word for it. The instructor seemed quite nice, she was around 40 too, and had a body to die for, she made me quite envious, but then she does  teach various exercise classes every night and day of the week, so she definitely earnt her body!  Well, she started off, and I began to think I wasn’t going to understand a word she said, as she was using all of the pose names, such as triangle, and downward facing dog and the warrior, what was that all about? We did half an hour yoga, and half an hour pilates, and I can truly say that I enjoyed it. It was really relaxing and stress less, and I felt really relaxed. The lighting was down and calm music was playing. We were able to get most of the positions, at the beginner stage, but some she said we would be able to do on level 2, which we did. I will definitely be going again next week. Not many people seemed to speak to each other though, it was aas if it was a very personal thing to each of them.

The yoga class is tonight, haven’t had a call from my pal Debbie yet, calling off, so I have got 15 mins before I leave, so I am here just passing time.

I cant wait for my tea tonight, I have some lamb steaks and veg with a jacket potato, I just love lamb, my mouth is watering as I am thinking of it.

I had a really good run this morning; I really enjoyed it, once I got going. I have to say the first 8 minutes or so of any run are a bit harsh for me, and the dark mornings are not helping, sometimes I spook myself, which isn’t good, this happened this morning. Not sure if I just imagined hearing something or if I really did, but it shook me a bit. Mind you, I spooked someone yesterday. I could see a woman walking her dog ahead of me on the path. People normally look around if they hear someone coming when its dark, but she didn’t. It was cold and wind and she was huddled up, with her hat pulled over her ears. I thought to myself, I am going to have to say something, or she will be really scared if I just run past her, she will think I’m a mugger or something, so I shouted ‘morning’ at her, and she nearly jumped out of her skin! Poor woman, she will never be the same again.

Anyway…..off to yoga…….I’m scared!

My friend Debbie at work, and I have decided to try yoga, I have been wanting to for a while, to help strengthen my back, but cannot get anyone to go with me. We were talking about it today when she said she would like to try it too, just as if it was supposed to be, an exercise leaflet was lying on the side, stating that there is a class on a Wednesday evening. She may want to wait until after half term is over, but I said we had better strike while the iron is hot, so watch this space, I probably won’t be able to walk on Thursday!

We took the children at work to the church this morning,

for the Harvest Festival, the woman that does it for us is so great, and child friendly, she really does a good job. The parents come too….another repeat of the other day, where parents, well, some parents, just do not want to spend time with their children! They have the events on a newsletter, which they either do not bother to read, or just forget about! We put signs up too, but some still insist that they know nothing about it. What can we do apart from tattoo the newsletter on their foreheads! One child was so rude, even resorting to back answering the lady, who very kindly gave up her time, to put it on for us. I felt so embarrassed, why do some people let their children get away with being rude and selfish? At 2, 3 and 4 years of age, it is not a good start.

I do have some good news, I got on the scales this morning, I don’t usually scale hop, but after the dreadful wi yesterday, I just had to have a peep, and I had lost 2lbs, so a good start to getting rid of that 5lb gain, at least I was back into the 10 stones mark again, I hated seeing the scales register into the 11’s.

My menu today is:

B ~ weetabix, 2kiwi and a pear

L ~ homemade vegetable soup, 2 satsumas

D ~ Tuna pasta bake, with a measured amount of pasta, and because I enjoyed it so much last night!

Probably a yoghurt or S/F jelly.

OMG I haven’t blogged for over a week.  Not that I have any news that is good on the ww front!  I may as well start with today’s WI.  It was awful,

 I am ashamed, and I am totally mortified, but it may have been the wake up call that I needed. I gained 5 lbs. Sheesh 5 lbs….. I have gone from 10 stone 9.2 lbs, to 11 stone 0.2 lbs. I really did not want to return into the 11s and I think that is what rocked my world. I m definitely not going to stay there for long, I am sure of that!  I lay in bed this morning after WI, as I returned to bed totally forlorn, and licking my wounds. I had planned on going for a run, but thought, heck, what is the point! I know that a gain was expected, as I will reveal in a moment, but not that much! Anyway, after some deliberation, my conscience was playing devils advocate, I was torn about staying in bed, going for a run, or going after work. It was getting late, as I had to get ready etc, but decided get up, get dressed and get out of that door as fast as possible, or it WILL be too late, I knew that I would not go after work, I am an early exerciser, I hate running later, although it has been done in the past, it’s a nightmare. So I went, enjoyed my run, took the dog for a walk, and got back into a positive frame of mind.

Things went awry last Thursday, the day after WI, cant remember exactly, but I fancied some chocolate, when I had eaten it, it didn’t stop there, the rest of the evening was ruined! But I got back on track the next day. The next thing was a party on Saturday, I was going to ignore the buffet, but I couldn’t, it looked so nice, I had a plate of buffet food, and then had 2 donuts when I got home! The next wrong day was Sunday. I had made a cake, so I had a slice, then the rest of the evening went out of the window yet again! I am just such a pig, I wish I could have something naughty, and then that’s it. But no, it’s all or nothing with me! Monday afternoon could have been another disaster, I had some cake….again, thank god its now gone, then some chocolate, but then someone on the ww board, in the same boat, convinced me to STOP RIGHT NOW! So I did, then Tues night, my brother invited me to dinner, wasn’t that bad, it was a roast, but I had a yorkie pud, a sausage, and roast potatoes, and also apple crumble and custard for afters! Who am I kidding…..after writing it down, yes I DID deserve to gain 5 lbs, it looks horrendous, and has only fuelled my resolve, to do better. I am definitely going to blog for the next week at least to keep me on the straight and narrow! I will lose that bloody 5lbs if it kills me, and fast!

Today’s menu was:

B ~ weetabix, melon

L ~ Jacket potato, v small, and a pear

D ~ vegetable pasta

Work on the other hand, was not so good. The new ways in which they want us to educate the children, is ludicrous if you ask me, it is making them self centred and with no discipline they are becoming a nightmare.  I used to enjoy my job, but at the moment I could quite happily jack it in entirely. It’s no fun being back answered by 2 and 3 year olds. I really cannot believe some of them.

I made a lovely dinner tonight of creamy chicken pie:

Cook some sliced potatoes until tender.

Brown chicken breast pieces in a pan.

Sauté mushrooms.

Combine chicken, mushrooms and peas in a dish.

Add a tin of mushroom or chicken soup, and arrange the potatoes on top. Cook until golden and crisp

It was lush.

My menu today was:

B ~ shredded wheat, grapefruit, kiwi

L ~ egg sandwich, salad, yogurt, apple

D ~ creamy chicken pie and vegetables, Rice pudding