http://www.freewebs.com/samanthadesigner/index.htm Freewebs http://www.freewebs.com/samanthadesigner/index.htm?blogentryid=4540307 Hello everyone!!!! This post may be a little longer than usual. I wanted to sort of explain a lot of things, but also to let women know out there that you ladies are not alone.... First off where to begin...

      I would have to say before leaving employment with Weight Watchers I began to worry about myself. Its not that I didn't care about myself anymore, but I cared so much for others that I was willing to do anything for others and nothing for myself. In June 2009, when I left Weight Watchers as a leader. It was the hardest thing to do, but it was time. I tried to get into the gym when I could, and I maintained my weight on the night shift. The problems really began there after June. Work became so stressful at Gannett (aka... The Indianapolis Star). Everyone was leaving, and I knew why. No one really cared about us, the employees. We were expected to get good quality grades and a certain number of images toned per hour, but the work began to slow and we would sit there for hours with nothing to do.
     The expectations were set too high, since we had no work to do. Work wasn't the only problem so was the insurance benefits. As you ladies know out there, we have to be on birth control to mange, have balance, our moods, etc...  That was easier said than done. I began to find out that the only way insurance would cover anything was to go through the mail order system. I would have to pay for a 3 month's supply in advance through mail order but the pills would never come and they were very expensive to even get the 3 month's supply. For those whom budget out there, you know what I mean. You just need what you need to get by, but mail order was not like that. If I was to go to a pharmacy, nothing was covered by insurance. I would have to pay all the money for a pack of pills right then and there then submit my receipts through Flex Spending to get reimbursed for the $75.00 pills that were bought for a month's supply.
       I began to get desperate wondering if there was an easier way. Something had to give and none of this seemed fair. I was beginning to think what is the point to having insurance if I can't get pills or what I need from a pharmacy. I had to wait for the mail to get to me or hope it would, so this nightmare would it. I began to give up. I did the next best thing I thought.... I decided it was time to switch methods this was my last hope. I went on the Depo Shot in August 2009. The funny thing is getting the medicine at the pharmacy downstairs at my doctor's office, it still was not covered by insurance. I had to pay out of pocket again. As if... I could just get a mail order on this too and use a syringe to inject myself with the Depo Shot. Ridiculous! The nurse couldn't believe it either when I went back upstairs and showed her what I had to pay. She just couldn't believe that they would cover pills through mail order but not the Depo. It didn't seem fair, not at all.
   Of course when the shot was injected, I felt different in about a half hour. My bones felt different. They felt numb. I had my doubts about all this before I did it but what else could I do. I tried everything and I wasn't about to go to some clinic to get another physical. For what, so I could explain all this again. I knew and have always known that my body is very sensitive to certain things. You can all guess what happened, I began to gain weight. I have never lost weight since being on the Depo Shot. Pretty much since August, I have gained and gained. It's like a battle within me. No matter how hard I run, workout, weight lift, eat veggies,track on Weight Watchers, switch back and forth from points to simply filling, etc. I can not beat this. It's in my body. I researched more on the internet and many websites state that the Depo Shot remains in your body for 10 months even if I never got the second injection. Every 3 months, one needs the next injection but overall your body still has that Depo in it. It's so frustrating  knowing that I try so hard each week for that scale to move and it moves in the opposite direction. Some day's I don't know what else to do, it seems hopeless.
     This month in November 2009, I finally switched back to very low dose of pills I used to be on. I am hoping and praying for the best, but it's still rough. I haven't been at my Weight Watchers goal weight since August 2009. I would like to say that somewhere within me, I know there is still hope. I look at a picture everyday of my future wedding dress, and I know it doesn't zip up. I know that it was the last size in that dress style, but I wanted it. It's that dream wedding gown that everyone envisions and dreams of when they are little. I just want to be able to zip it and not be at this size anymore. I can't even fit in some of my clothes. It's been like this since August. Goodness! For those of you out there, I want you to know that you aren't alone and it's so hard being a female. My goal is to get back to goal and to stop paying Weight Watchers a monthly fee when I am over my goal weight. This sums it all up, what has been going on and why I have kept it on the hush hush. I guess, I felt ashamed. I did what I thought was the best and only option left, but it backfired. A part of me knows deep down if I don't make it through the holidays then all my weight will come back. So, if I can maintain or lose through Thanksgiving I will be so happy with that. Happy with me again, and know that I can do this. I want to be a Weight Watchers leader again someday soon or just a receptionist and help people again, but I am over my goal weight. I feel like I will never get there again.
 
Thank you in advance for reading this if you made it through this far.
Thank you for your support.
]]> http://www.freewebs.com/samanthadesigner/index.htm?blogentryid=4540307#topBox http://www.freewebs.com/samanthadesigner/index.htm?blogentryid=4540307 Sat, 21 Nov 2009 20:12:00 -0100 http://www.freewebs.com/samanthadesigner/index.htm?blogentryid=4540302

THANKSGIVING: ESTIMATED POINTS LIST

Beverages
Wine (4 oz. Glass) 2
Coffee or Tea 0*

Appetizers/Salads
Mixed Nuts (1 oz.) 4
Salad with 2 tsp. Oil 2*
Fruit Cocktail (1 cup) 2*
Shrimp (2 oz.) & Cocktail Sauce (1/4 cup) 2*

Main Course
Turkey, 1 slice with skin (2 oz.) 3*
Turkey, 1 slice without skin (2 oz.) 2*
Ham, lean (2 oz.) 2*
Ham, glazed with pineapple (2 oz.) 3

Side Dishes
Stuffing/Dressing (1/2 cup) 4
Mashed Potatoes (1/2 cup) 2
Giblet Gravy (1/4 cup) 2
Winter Squash (1 cup) 1*
Cranberry Sauce (1/4 cup) 2
Green Beans 0*
Sweet Potato (1 large) 3*
Candied Yams (1/2 cup) 4
Roll 3
Corn Kernels (1/2 cup) 1*
Corn, Cream-Style (1/2 cup) 1-2
Crescent Roll (1 regular) 3
Crescent Roll (1 Grands!) 6
Crescent Roll (1 Reduced Fat) 2
Macaroni & Cheese (1/2 cup) 4
Peas (1/2 cup) 1

Desserts
Apple or Pumpkin Pie (1/8 of 8-9” pie) 9
Pecan Pie 11
Pie without crust (1/8 of 8-9” pie) subtract 3 points



* Filling Food

]]> http://www.freewebs.com/samanthadesigner/index.htm?blogentryid=4540302#topBox http://www.freewebs.com/samanthadesigner/index.htm?blogentryid=4540302 Sat, 21 Nov 2009 20:04:00 -0100