The past 3 years have been such a mix of emotions.  It is still so hard for me to believe.

Court - I miss you with every cell in my body and I love you,

Mom

Every morning before I leave for work, I go upstairs to say "Good Morning" to Ashley, Cash and Charlie. And every morning I can’t help but think how much I know Court would love to be there - spoiling them, hugging them … just loving them. I can’t help but think how proud she would be of her sister - who is following her dream and pursuing a nursing career. I can’t help but think how proud she would be of her brother who is following his passion.

I miss Court so very much - so much that it sucks the air from my lungs - so much that my heart feels like it will stop beating - so much that I sometimes wonder how I can continue to breathe. But then I make myself stop and think - about my family and what keeps me going - and I think about what Courtney endured with such grace and strength.

I am trying so very hard to stay strong. I told myself that this was going to be a better year and that I would get back on track. I want so badly to be positive about the future. I want to find joy in my life. I want to live my life.

Please say a prayer for the warriors who are in the fight - and if you would also take an extra few minutes to visit carepages -colemanscott and leave a word of encouragement for this very brave little guy whose family's Christmas plans took a detour.

I would also ask for you to pray for the families who are trying to get through the day without one of the children. 

Court, I miss you so much.  Today my heart is a little more broken.....

love, Debbie

I hope you liked the balloons ! Charlie ate your cupcake - I'm sure that was okay with you.  There are no words to describe how much we miss you.............

Two years ago, I had no idea that I was hearing Courtney’s voice for the last time. Two years ago, I had no idea that I was about to spend some of the most difficult hours/days of my life. Two years ago, I had no idea ….

It’s hard to think about the next few days and weeks - so many dates that have meaning - so many dates that I don’t want to remember, but can’t forget - November 11^th - the day I learned Court was going to die; November 14^th - the day I watched her take her last breath; Nov. 18^{th -} the day I buried my daughter. Then comes Nov. 21^st - Courtney’s birthday , Thanksgiving and Christmas.

I can honestly say that this has been the longest two years of my life. Ashley and I were talking on Sunday about how many times we have wanted to share something with Court during these past two years - many special moments that she would have loved ... memories we are making without her and it makes me sad.  My heart hurts with a dull ache - a throbbing reminder that she is gone.

Courtney, I miss you with every breath I take…with every cell in my body…with every fiber of my being.

Losing a child to cancer is a life sentence for which there is no parole…..